Special Needs & Sexual Health

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Sex and Palliative Care.

 How she can have great sex with her dying male partner.?

By Amy Clarke

Bucket List

Your partner only has a short while left to live.

What kind of Bucket list, if he has made one, what would be listed on it?

He may just want some great sex!.

If it would include having a fantastic time, enjoying all the sex he’d never had in life, how incredible would that be?

male condition
For Males:

If you were worried about how you would manage in your weakened condition, don’t. There are so many things that you can do

An experienced female could spend some time with you talking about the things you prefer.

I once met a fellow who was a widower and given only a few weeks to live, Skin Cancer.

 ‘Simon’, related to Me that the 35 years of marriage to the mother of his three children, he had never seen her naked out of bed.

He turned out to be a sexual person, fully into erotica. He jumped into the pool of sensuality just like a fish in water. His dick was small and a little soft but it didn’t stop him from wanting to put it everywhere. He just loved fucking.

For Women:

If you love your husband, or partner and want to give him the opportunity to enjoy the last of the best sex he can get, without him having to find it elsewhere, then let’s explore the many ways you can please your dying man.

First of all, it’s important that YOU THROW AWAY ALL YOUR HANGUPS.

Be open minded about this and keep reminding yourself that this is all for the man that you love.


You may already have an inkling into what turns on your partner.

He may like to be dominant and take you in the missionary position always. He may want to touch your bum sometimes but you never really knew what to do with that. Or he may be submissive and want you to start things, touch him, touch his bum or suck his nipples. These little tell- tale activities may help you decide which fantasy you could begin within 2 of options today.

Sexuality in a lot of ways is very much in the mind. If you have ever felt that sexy, that when you are making love, you may have gone off in your mind to another place.

Then do this for him. Help him imagine that he is with the most gorgeous and beautifully erotic, and sensuous woman ever. If he is the dominating kind, then you will need to be the sexiest, cute and innocent girl ever. Go back in time and picture yourself when you appreciated knowing you were the hot thing, desired for the first time as a young thing.

You will need to get in touch with that girl or that woman before you can start. Go to your wardrobe and find sexy things to drape your body in and to help you feel more confident in your role. Make sure that you are very washed and clean. Especially clean again if you have to urinate because that “fishy” smell that men complain about is just stale urine smell and is unnecessary. Using your favourite Lube, (I prefer colourless and odourless baby oil or Vaseline) very lightly prepare yourself with a little wipe around your vulva.

Let him know that you are going to have a special time together. Create a comfortable environment for him. Make sure that there is adequate lighting while still keeping it dim.

Here is one scenario for you: in this case you are the GIRL.

He is in his usual place in his wheelchair in the lounge room watching TV, waiting for you.

You walk in and tell him you are wearing something special for him and that you would like to spoil him. If you can, sit ever so slightly on his lap and while giving him tons of butterfly kisses all over his face, tell him that you love him and would like to give him any treat he likes.

Tell him that you will be his girl today and that you’ve finished all your work now and are all his. Say that you are feeling very sexy, scorching!. Keep saying that as you kiss and touch him.

From this position, the dominant male may want to do a few things, but mostly he will be kind of interested in your little girl bum. So to help him with this, stand up, bend over and get very interested in kissing him from the feet up making sure that your bum is close enough so that he can play with it.

You are relinquishing power over to him. He should now be starting to feel in charge.

Let him know that this is something that you enjoy. Consistently go to his ear and whisper these things. Allow yourself to get turned on by the very sexiness of it all and the fact that this arousal is making you think of bad times around the shelter shed at school or times when playing under the blanket made you feel those first sexy feelings in your whole life.

Ask him if he wants to see your Pussy. You may have your ‘special’ words for this. You may never have said those words before. You can say it however it feels comfortable to you. If you are shy, just say.  “Do you want to see more?”

You can undress if you like. Toss off your knickers, and then whisper in your lover’s  ear about how much you liked being fingered or played with by the boy next door, or a boy on the beach, or some boy from school. Whisper in his ear would like him to do something sexy to you too. “Can you do some sexy things to me please?”……………

Here is another scenario for you – in case you are The Woman

Walk into the room and tell him that you are feeling very horny and that you want him to help you with that. Tell him that you have put on something sensuous and that you are going to have to get his help to make you get your rocks off. You need him to help because you can’t do it yourself.

Whisper these things to your partner as you sit face on to him, on his lap, both feet astride him while he remains in the wheelchair.

Kiss him hard and give him a little tongue. Pull his head down and make him suck your breasts hard. Keep telling him that this is just what you need.

Endeavour to make him feel needed, wanted and worthwhile.

Gyrate on top of the spot where his genitals are as if you were ‘dry fucking’ him. (Make sure you have the breaks on the wheelchair!) Tell him that you need help getting to a climax. That you aren't possibly able to cum without his help.

Open his fly slowly, while telling him that you just want to play. Ask him to stimulate you in your favourite way by making him put his hands inside your knickers, or under your g string or your dress. Guide him correctly to show him where you want his hands to be.

Gently caress every part of his genital area while he still has his hands on you.

By this time your pussy should be aflame.

Stop for a moment and force him to suck your nipples again but don’t let go of his penis.

Take a moment to kiss his face -  and tell him you love him.

couple kissing face


Both these scenarios are meant to create arousal, excitement and joy.

If your partner is not capable of getting a hard-on, don’t worry. Doing all the physical acts of love is mentally horny enough. Many people have what is called mental orgasms.

You may end up on the bed and ‘pash’ on delightfully as a result of these turn-ons. Whether you have intercourse or not doesn’t matter.

If you are adventurous, enough a good lot of mutual oral sex will bring joy. If this is not your thing and you have abundant breasts, perhaps you would like to try Spanish.

Using a little lube on your chest take his penis and place it between your beautiful boobs. Create a tunnel like the vaginal hole and embrace him using lots of rhythm and flow.

Your partner is dying. Keep smiling. Let your man feel the life and the joy in you. Look at his eyes often. Particularly, during the most risqué acts to let him know that it is all ok and that you love him.

Be brave and adventurous my Sisters. Allow this beautiful gift to your man and he will be grateful.

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